the past week. My shorter hair contributes to this impression, on top of my
even-more protruding stomach. I am waiting for the day when my navel will pop
into an outie instead of an innie – my tummy skin is so stretched it just might
happen.
I’ve learned that I don’t get
paid a salary during maternity leave. I figure it’s because the Family Code (or
the Labor Code) assumes that I have a husband who will support the infant and
myself after birth. The only assurance I’m supposed to get is that I’ll have a
job to return to. Is it only I who think this is discriminatory? Our finance
officer says that I can get my SSS benefits, but that if I also get paid a
salary, it means double compensation, which isn’t allowed.
So my thoughts have turned to how to
generate extra income (and Belly booty!) over the next months. I
could:
a) Post naked preggy videos on
pay-per-view sites, and artistically stream milk over my inflated
chest;
b) Sell my pre-pregnancy
wardrobe;
c) Start listing my jewelry on eBay
or other sites again;
d) Charge 5 pesos for
every grammar-related question I get asked (is it it’s or
its?);
e) Start selling handmade soap and other
bath geegaws again;
f) Invent something really
useful, like a portable personality modifier that zaps away the degenerate extra
Y chromosomes that supposedly induce criminality, rudeness and bad wardrobe
choices;
g) Have sex with an alien (preferably
a silicon-based life form) and sell the video rights to
Hollywood;
h) Write a column about my haphazard
single pregnancy- and motherhood and be paid 2 cents every sentence if I’m
lucky;
i) Pretend to have had a religious
visitation, start a cult, and ask for
donations.
Any other ideas are welcome.